Anger is a normal part of life.  Moreover, there is no getting around it.  As I have researched the scripture it has been recorded that even God Himself was angered by the disobedience and wayward living of mankind.  So, it is an emotion that will occur but has been handled and controlled.  When handled well, anger can become a powerful tool in facilitating positive change – and in a relationship, it can be the catalyst for unprecedented growth and intimacy.

But so, few of us have the proper training in processing anger or know how to express it well… and therein lies the challenge that most have.  Anger governed correctly should be used in a way to right a wrong, foster justice, and/or bring about resolved behavior.

Reflecting on previous conversations with individuals that I interview and mentor, anger in many cases is from suppressed hurt, fear, or frustration. Indeed, in fact, those contributing factors mentioned are kept inwardly and go unresolved.  This type of behavior creates an action very similar to the “hydraulic effect” where pressure builds overtime until it reaches a point of explosion – what we identify as rage.

The plan to overcoming anger is talk and express your feelings of hurt, frustration, and fear very openly to who it main pertain.  This will give you an opportunity to vent and convey your thoughts and provide a pathway for reconciliation with the other person.  However, some relations in life are seasonal and reconciliation is not always an option.  In those cases where it is best for two individuals to go their separate ways, it can be done amicably.

In closing, do not harbor anger, nor allow it to turn into bitterness, rage, hate, or deceit.  Address whatever the offense maybe head-on.  In the end you will feel better, and others will as well.

Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools (Eccl 7:9).

God Bless – A Note From The Counselor’s Corner,
Dalton Kornegay, PhD

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